This episode of the Equestrian Performance and Fitness Podcast reviews a behavioural pattern that we all face that essentially leads us to get in the way of ourselves.
Self sabotage – I see this behavioural distortion or negative behavioural pattern in so many clients, friends and of course I recognise it in myself! So, what is it? Essentially, self-sabotage is a way of creating problems for ourself that interferes with our goals.
It could be procrastinating, cleaning cupboards, over eating, drinking, drug abuse, scrolling on instagram or facebook, watching another episode on Netflix or even self harm.
Self sabotage is a learnt behaviour that we use to buffer, distract, or comfort ourselves away from the tasks that will bring us closer to our goals.
You may not understand why you do it, for example, you may have great intentions of doing a workout, but then you tell yourself the muck heap needs to be attended to, or you need to clean the kitchen cupboard, or you feel tired so tomorrow will be better.
So, how do we overcome self sabotage? Well the good news is its a learnt pattern and can de undone.
- Goal Setting: Not having goals is the ultimate in self sabotage! If you don’t have anything to aim for, you will never reach it! Often we put off goal setting in fear that we wont make it, so we sabotage ourselves before we have even started!
- Lack of self awareness: If you don’t know why you are getting in your own way, chances are you haven’t looked hard enough into your own mind and reflected on the emotions leading up to self sabotage behaviours.
- Developing self worth: Often the reason we get in our own way is because we believe we are not worthy of our dreams goals and desires, and by working on this, often we see success in our health and fitness goals too.
- Control: Easier to pay for a programme, not do it and fail because ‘you didn’t do what you were supposed to’ rather than try really hard and see failure. So we control ourselves negatively, which has a negative cycle along with self-worth. We must let go of this control to see success.
- Be a friend to yourself: Ask yourself, how can i make you feel worthy, how can I help you achieve this today?
We must take time time to experience our emotions and know that it is okay to feel a certain way and not always try to create false pleasures with buffering and self sabotage behaviours.
I hope that you find this episode of the podcast useful and it helps you in your life! I would love to hear about your experiences with self sabotage, how it affects your riding and your life and what steps you think you can take to reverse negative patterns that have been developed.